Cadie’s hand trembled as she read the online conversation between luke and candice. “Bye love,” was how the conversation ended. Cadie sighed. What had she become? She found herself jumping at the chance to read through luke’s emails and text messages every chance she could. It was like an addiction. But it only made her feel worse about herself and the situation she was in. How had everything in her life gone wrong within just a few months? She was living with her ex-boyfriend, under the mutual agreement that no one would find out and that they were “officially broken up. But that was what she let him think. As far as she was concerned, she and Luke were living together again and enjoying their time together… for maybe the last time.
It seemed as if everyday were a lie. They woke up, had breakfast, she drove him to school, picked him up, and then they hung out until it was time to go to bed. Sometimes, more often than not, they had sex… but there was no romance in it. It was either naughty or purely physical. And she let him. In her heart, she hoped this would make him see that they were meant to be together. That he would realize he loved her more than he would admit. But she knew she was just living each day in a dream world. Battling in her mind over what to do: should she stay and pretend she was just as content as he was in their arrangement? or should she just leave and shut him out of her life forever? Either way, Cadie knew she had lost in this game called love. After three years of being “together,” their relationship had crumbled when luke discovered cadie’s deep secret one morning. Cadie was living in New York, and working with a guy whom she had just met. Mike was talented and artistic, and they complimented each other well. After a week of pursing her, Mike finally seduced her with magical words that made her feel like a woman. A beautiful, smart, and fun woman. He gave her all the attention she had been craving from luke.
But luke was in Baltimore, and then California, and not in New York. She had a suspecting feeling he was not as committed to their relationship as she was. She seriously doubted he thought of her every second, the second he woke up, right before he fell asleep, or while watching tv. She loved him. Event though he was her first serious boyfriend, she knew she had found the one guy who she could be best friends with and love, forever. She knew she was being naiive, but it was how she felt.
But working and going to parties with Mike made her feel sexy. As if she were meant to be living a different, more glamorous life. Mike and his friends all loved her and appreciated her. Finally, for once in her life, she felt like she belonged. She didn’t have to please anybody but herself. She became KD, the cool, confident girl in the table by the DJ booth. KD was fun and artisitic and sophisticated. KD knew how to drink, smoke pot, and snort cocaine in the bathroom as if she were born into it. With an entourage like that, KD didn’t need anyone. Especially not her billionaire best friend, nor her cheating lying boyfriend.
hand writings. 